All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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