no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
