3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
