Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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