Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize