one might say we're banned from that church
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
