do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
