her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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