Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
