I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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