dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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