We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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