the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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