Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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