Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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