I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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