there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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