I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize