He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
