Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
