Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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