In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
