im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
