Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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