Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
