Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
