Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
