you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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