Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
