i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize