Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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