he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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