How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
