She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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