You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
