My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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