I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
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You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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