everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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