haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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