508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
