Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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