That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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