one two three fourrrrnication!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
