physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
