I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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