that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize