I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
