The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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