Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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