Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
