i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
