I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
