At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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