Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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