Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
