The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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