According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I want to fling myself into the sun
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