Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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